Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Pros and Cons of Testing

The following was first published in Daily Homeschooling Tips. Sign up to receive homeschooling tips, short articles, information, book reviews, learning activities and more by Beverley Paine and experienced home educators EVERY DAY!

There are many arguments against using tests as a form of assessment. Some children become so nervous that they can't perform and don't give a true account of their knowledge or ability. Other children seem to manage with last minute cramming despite not having worked or concentrated during learning activities. Children often forget facts and skills after the test, having learned them simply to pass the test. This makes a mockery of the purpose of learning activity and makes education meaningless. Luckily, giving tests to assess children’s progress isn’t the only way to evaluate the effectiveness of our learning programs and tests are usually a minor tool in our homeschooling toolkits.

Testing is definitely a legitimate way to check on progress. A test can give the parent valuable information about where the child is in his or her learning, and help show what needs to be concentrated on next. Tests can reveal what learning strategies and activities are most effective – what worked or didn’t work to achieve the objectives of the activity. In this way, testing can also assess the effectiveness of the teaching. It’s no good continuing to teach using the same approach and methods if the child isn’t progressing.

For some children, tests offer a sense of accomplishment as well as give information about what they know and what they may need to review. Some children will be motivated by taking tests, whereas other children find them intimidating and stressful. It’s a matter of working with, and not against, each child’s learning style.

When a child studiously reviews material and skills covered by preceding learning activities, he or she naturally consolidate and sometimes extend their knowledge and ability. Questions may arise during review that clarifies and illuminates aspects of the subject that may have been overlooked earlier. Tests reveal gaps in understanding and ability, which can be addressed through the use of quality, constructive feedback. In this way the test becomes an effective review.

If we are considering, as our purpose, encouraging our children to learn, building, in a continuous progression, on what they already know and can do, rather than compare their progress against other learners or a ‘norm’, then testing can be an invaluable teaching aid.

© Beverley Paine

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Saturday, September 24, 2005

Climate Change Health Impacts in Australia

I am rarely political in my homeschooling musings, however I am enthused by the actions of a new political web presence in Australia you may have heard of - Get Up! It may not be everyone's cup of tea and has certainly drawn criticism from some quarters, and I definitely don't agree with all the political commentary or the thrust of each campaign, nor will I into the future, but I like to keep up with postings on their blog http://www.getup.org.au/blog.asp

Prompted by a request to protest Preventative Detention, I checked the blog and found information on Climate Change Health Impacts in Australia. The blog pointed to the full report, http://www.acfonline.org.au/uploads/res_AMA_ACF_Full_Report.pdf, which I promptly printed on recycled paper to read later, and to a news article with quotes by Ian Lowe, a scientist and commentator I have great respect for.

As home educators, the future health of our children, and our nation, is of utmost importance. What's the point of educating and bringing up these kids with such dedicated care if we're not looking after the environment they will live in? Information, I'm told, is power. When we're informed we're able to make decisions that can protect ourselves and our children. There is so much happening that heralds doom and gloom I'm often tempted to turn my head and look the other way. Burying myself in busy work is one way I stop myself from feeling totally overwhelmed. However, this let's my children, and the grandchildren and great-grandchildren I may one day enjoy, down. I can't allow my fear and apathy to have such devastating effects on their future.

Home educators face discrimination and inequity every day, and most of us accept those disadvantages, as well as lower incomes, as the price we pay to enjoy the freedom to educate our children at home, protected from the haphazard and diffident school education system. We don't have a lot of time to pursue to interests beyond the home and local community. It doesn't surprise me, though, that home educators are often very politically active about issues that are dear to their hearts, and that most of these issues relate to building a better, sustainable and more caring world.

Basing life around the welfare and education of children naturally creates aware, sensitive and caring community members.

Take a look at Get Up! and join their mailing list, if it's something that you'd like to introduce into your homeschooling learning programs. Even if you don't agree with the politics, the topics raise interesting and important issues of national importance for discussion with your children, especially adolescents.

If you have a favourite blog that brings awareness about important issues we need to consider as parents and educators, please bring it to my attention by posting a comment below.

© Beverley Paine

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Friday, September 23, 2005

You Can't Fail

"I can only come to one conclusion, my family need a stable, consistent, happy thriving environment and I need to be relaxed in my approach to Homeschooling and in my approach to education across the board for each of my three girls." Rachel, homeschooling mum.
Then you need, first and foremost, an affirmation that you can breathe (heavily!) about relaxing: something like "we've got all day" :-)
I use affirmations whenever I can remember to take the tension out of the day. I don't use them often enough, however!
I know when I need to use an affirmation - it's in those emotionally charged moments when I'm in danger of reacting, rather than consciously acting. An affirmation is like a deep breath - it gives you that moment in which to pause. Counting to ten - slowly - while breathing can do the trick too. You need that space, more than anything else. The affirmation simply begins the reprogramming of unhelpful self-talk process.
Consistency begins by recognising the most important thing (just one!) you'd like to change right now. It would be beneficial if the whole family could agree on this one thing. Everyone can then contribute to making sure you all change that one thing - having support is crucial when we're trying to change entrenched behaviours.
Name that one thing. You could even put up a poster on the fridge with the new behaviour loudly proclaimed! It's important to keep words and thoughts constructive (positive). It's more effective to think about what we want, as if we already have it, than to dwell on what we don't want or what isn't working. Often naming what we want is enough to manifest it.
Forget about happiness. None of us are ever going to be consistently happy! It's okay to have blue moments or blue days. It's okay to be quietly reflective. Sometimes my children were/are quietly reflective and I'd interpret that as unhappiness and intervene... Not happy then!!! Or sometimes when one of us is learning something challenging we get frustrated with ourselves, we may get cranky or cross, and even short-tempered. When I saw my children struggling like this I would intervene - uninvited of course - and then they'd get cross at me!!! Sometimes learning isn't about having fun or being happy. Sometimes it's about loss, reconciliation, compassion, grief, coming to terms with inability... and so on.
Happiness is something that if we take care of ourselves will come naturally. Adequate sleep, rest, relaxation, laughter, exercise and nutritious food underpin happiness. Aim for those and you'll soon be on your way to happiness.
Happiness, as I'm currently finding out, doesn't arrive without balance though. That's the 'stable' part of Rachel's statement. Avoid extremes. We naturally do this in the physical realm but forget the importance of finding and maintaining mental balance. I'm terribly guilty of this: I have high highs where I get oodles of impressive work done and dreadful lows where I simply sit and wait for the depression to pass. I'm learning to resist the urge to be ultra busy when I'm hyper - relax more, especially then - so that I don't dive too low. As a result I'm able to do much more ALL the time. It's a huge relief, and wonder of wonders, I'm naturally happier!
Reacting, especially emotionally, drains energy. Time is the healing potion. When you're reacting, step back, sit down, hug yourself and your children. Stop whatever you are doing and have a playful moment, even if you don't feel like it. Break the cycle. Go outside. Remove yourself to break the building tension. Don't engage if you feel that you're reaction is going to be anything other than constructive... And try to view the situation objectively - stand outside of yourself and look on, as God would (and, if you're like me, you'll have a sudden surge of overwhelming guilt and shame and back down quickly!)
One of the tools I used all the time to help me relax about 'education' was thinking about what schools really offer. Not what the ideal school would offer, but what the real school down the road offers, every day. I'd look at society - will all it's never ending, never solved, problems and realise that school is mostly to blame. That's where the apathy is set in concrete. For every caring 'leader' that comes through the system there are nine people who are lost, haven't got a clue how to solve the big problems in their communities, or even in their personal lives. When have schools ever delivered the curriculum they promise to ALL their students?
We, and many other natural learning families, have discovered that even if you don't 'educate' your children, they will be on par with most of their peers at age 18. Any 'education' that you offer you children as a homeschooler is therefore a clear bonus!! You can't fail.

© Beverley Paine

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Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Some Teaching Tips for Homeschools

* Have a clear signal for stopping activities or when
you want your children to be quiet. Get silence and
wait for their full attention before you start speaking
and give clear instructions or demonstrations. Make
sure your children understand what they have to do.

* Avoid activities that over-excite: It is often
difficult to return to a calm and controlled learning
environment after a noisy game or activity. If there
is little space, avoid activities that require a lot
of movement. If it’s important to keep the house tidy
and clean today, avoid activities that require
considerable cutting and pasting, or painting and
sculpting, as these can create a great deal of mess.

* Make constructive comments about the quality of the
children's work and recognise their efforts: Let them
see that you value their work.

* When teaching siblings at home, or if you have younger
children, make sure you prepare additional material,
or to help cope with fast and not so fast learners’
needs and don't let activities go on too long. For
younger children five to ten minute lessons are often
more than enough to introduce or revise a concept
previously introduced.

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
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Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Homeschool Blogger

I'm also blogging at
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/beverleypaine/26081/

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Those Homeschooling Records...

It is really sad when, as homeschoolers, we begin to lack confidence and look for solutions that we know to be less than satisfactory because we have to 'prove' to others that what we are doing is okay and will work out just fine, thank you very much! It is extremely frustrating to have to reassure professionals, especially health care professionals who can wield disproportionate power in our lives.

There are many natural learners and unschoolers who have no need to record to bolster their confidence that not doing 'school at home' will prove to be a successful education pathway for their children. I wasn't one of them. Recording and translating into school subject language convinced me, better than anything else, that when my children resisted school methods of instruction and didn't do the work or activities I'd set them, that what they chose to do instead was still learning and much the same thing at about the same stage of development as their schooled peers. I needed to record the learning process at home. My confidence as a natural learner comes from that experience.

It takes a while to get the hang of translating everyday life into educational jargon, and lots of people will 'knock' you for doing it, saying things like 'you shouldn't have to do that' (and that's true, but in your particular situation you find it helpful and necessary); 'that's too much work' (which it isn't, not when you consider the purpose - to convince yourself, your husband, family, your daughter's doctors and health care workers - recording is more effective at doing this than endless repeated debates); or comments such as 'it takes too long', 'couldn't be bothered pandering to the education authorities, they have no rights to dictate to me' etc. When you read or hear these comments remember that whatever works for others isn't necessarily going to work for you. You need to assess your own particular situation at this point in time and ask 'what are MY family needs? What do I need to do in order to feel confident homeschooling my daughter? What do I need to do (or get) to feel confident and assertive to insist that my daughter obtains the care she needs while at school?

Always bring it back to the centre. You, your family. What is it you all need? Forget what others do. Work from YOUR centre.

Most people forget that families with physically or intellectually disabled children often already have a history with the education department. This makes it harder for these families to negotiate the freedom to make choices that others take for granted. When a child has a disability the education authorities seem to apply super glue to their hold - it's really hard to get our children back! Part of the reason is a misguided, uninformed but usually sincere and genuine concern for our disabled children's welfare; but we can't discount the fact that schools receive extra funding and staff for those children, which are often utilised for purposes other than the care of that particular child...

In the early days of homeschooling and recording what our children are doing and learning it's easy to try too hard to translate daily life into educational jargon. If we put too much emphasis on that aspect of recording the whole thing can become a chore or overwhelm us. Try this: simply record, in your own words, as much as you can about what your child is doing, how she is doing it, what she is discovering, new skills and knowledge she is acquiring. Instead of trying to write up something for each subject each day, pick one thing that stands out in each day and write half a page or more about that particular activity.

It could be a conversation you had about friendship. It could be relating how your daughter made her lunch. When you write up the activity, consider using the following framework and information as a guide [taken from my Home Education Reports and from Chapter 7, Getting Started with Homeschooling, both available from Always Learning Books], to 'train' you to think like an educator or teacher would:

[print these out and use as guide when you are writing. Think of ways your child demonstrates these goals: eg if when baking a cake, she says she'd like to ice it and then using different coloured food dyes, makes patterns, declaring the finished image to be a field of flowers - this shows the first thinking skill on the list. During the activity she may have asked for directions from you, and then followed them, told you what she was doing and why, or used cooking-related vocabularly confidently for the first time. She may have volunteered, without a reminder, to wash her hands first, or clean up afterwards. Record that - especially that this is a 'first', or even that 'at long last, she is doing this automatically, without me nagging...' ]

Thinking [includes day dreaming, imagination, planning, reflecting]
- Demonstrates creative, intuitive and imaginative thinking skills.
- Poses and tests hypotheses and assumptions logically.
- Confidently questions, explores and investigates.

Communication [verbal and non-verbal, speaking, listening, reading, writing, performing (singing, dancing, moving, acting)]
- Participates in discussions.
- Is an effective oral communicator.
- Follows verbal instructions and directions.
- Listens attentively and courteously.
- Reads and comprehends subject related literature.
- Uses appropriate writing forms and conventions.
- Edits written work.
- Communicates clearly in writing.
- Writes legibly and fluently.
- Use audience appropriate communication strategies.

Information [asking questions, looking things up, checking accuracy, comparing]
- Collects, analyses and organises information.
- Confidently accesses a variety of information sources.
- Working in Teams Interacts effectively with others.
- Demonstrates leadership skills.
- Works as an effective team member.

Organisation [functional tidiness? - mental and physcial realms]
- Is prepared and organised for learning activities.
- Maintains study materials in good order.
- Begins work promptly.
- Negotiate learning tasks and activities.
- Reviews own performance.

Problem Solving [asking questions and working out how to answer them]
- Shows evidence of critical thinking.
- Is creative in achieving outcomes.
- Attitude Maintains a positive and enthusiastic approach to studies.
- Demonstrates responsibility for own learning.
- Perserveres.
- Works productively and sensibly.

Cooperation
- Works effectively with others.
- Listens attentively and responds appropriately.

Time Management
- Is able to set priorities.
- Cooperatively negotiates timetable for learning tasks and activities.
- Completes tasks on time.

Commitment
- Displays initiative.
- Demonstrates interest and desire to learn.

Independent Work
- Develop independent study habits.
- Able to work without supervision.

Quality of Work
- Produces work of appropriate and consistent quality.
- Demonstrates care in preparation and presentation of work.

Activity/Subject Objectives Met
- Understands skills and concepts of the activity/course.

In addition ask your daughter what she thought and felt about what she did; ask about specific aspects of the activity, how she managed this or that, or what she thought about a particular part, or the materials used; whether she could have done things differently or used different materials; did she need help or was the help she received adequate, too much, the wrong sort of help? Was she happy with how long it took, did she need more time? Would she like to do it again? Why? And what did she think she learned, and was that what she expected to learn.

It's important not to drill your child when asking evaluative questions like this. You can pick one or two for this activity and then ask the others for different activities. Over time you will learn a great deal of information about what kind of learner your daughter is, and what her learning needs are, and without trying you will find yourself automatically organising homeschool life to meet those needs. Information is power - it's our job as parents and educators to seek that information and then put it to work.

Remember: education is a process, not a product. We are not recording how and what our children are learning to please others or get their approval, but to educate ourselves about that process, and to feel confident when talking to 'experts'.

You don't need to use jargon. Use your own words. Keep it simple. Keep it real. When you come across a word you aren't sure of the meaning, have a guess, then look it up in the dictionary. Most people don't use the word 'spherical' - they say 'shaped like a ball'. As home educators we are free to use both! Use whatever terminology makes you feel most comfortable.

Take half an hour a day, each day, for a month, to write up just one activity or happening in your child's life and I guarantee you will feel more confident about meeting her educational needs and answering your critics.

You may wish to continue with this format. I like the idea of recording in short bursts - a week or a month here and there, as a 'sample' of the overall educational process that happening at home. That turns it into a 'project' for me, something I can feel enthusiastic about, put a lot of energy and creativity into, and produce a document that I can look back on in years to come - a snapshot of my children's lives complete with their artwork, photographs, video or audio recordings, writing, a diary, comments, etc.

Let me know what type of recording works best to bolster your confidence as a home educator, and how the records you keep serve your family over the years in the comments section below.

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
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Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Letting Go of Possessions

I wish I had the guts to let go of the need to keep everything so pristine perfect when I was younger and began enjoying a lot of my precious stored stuff so much earlier...

I remember one set of special glasses etched with roses that I kept for 20 years under wraps and finally decided to use when I figured the kids were old enough not to break them. It wasn't the kids I should have worried about but the stupidity of making glasses so thin in the first place! I think all six were broken while being dried... too much pressure with the tea towel!

The day I began to feel liberated from the need to be over-protective towards objects was when I broke a lovely piece of jewellery I had bought a year before. A cut quartz crystal with golden rutile crystals crisscrossing the prism, it reminded me of my daughter's hair and of my childhood excursions looking for similar rocks with my family. I dropped it on the bathroom tiles and smashed a corner of the prism. "Oh well" I said, totally suprised that I didn't feel unbelievably guilty and ashamed at my clumsiness, as I was accustomed to feeling... I picked it up, had a little dance around the room as I didn't feel wretched and realised I'd turned a corner in life - at last!

It's taken me another dozen years to feel comfortable with damaging, breaking, scratching, using, wearing and tearing the rest of my possessions!

Life is too short not to celebrate by having those things that bring us joy, if even for a moment, every day.

Natalie commented on the joy of bringing out of storage much loved items - like photographs or gifts - and how all too often when left in constant view the magic of these items disappears into the background and eventually we fail to notice them. Storing can bring back that special feeling we first experienced with the item. This is true, too. From a homeschooling perspective I found it extremely useful to 'rotate' toys, books and learning materials, even art and craft materials. When the stored items are brought out on display they usually sparked a great deal of creativity and imaginative play. There is something powerful about 'novelty'; that awakening of the senses to experience with freshness old treasures!

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
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Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Writing and Recording Learning Plans

Writing a learning program and recording throughout the first year isn't as daunting as it first looks. I think the problem we all face is this overriding fear that the education department will say 'no' to our application for exemption from attending school, but this rarely happens. And if they say 'no', we say 'why not' and they tell us and we say 'okay, we can fix that, how about now?' and they say 'okay'. :-) It isn't always this easy, neither does it always get this hard - each family has a different experience and many of us find the process a lot less intimidating than we thought it would be.

Many families, especially those with children younger than the compulsory school age of 6, simply start educating their children in whatever way they want - usually using a school-at-home approach with a few work books in spelling, grammar and maths with a lot of hands-on art, craft and science activities, plus continuing learning activities as usual about growing bodies, hygiene, cooperative behaviours, getting out and about in the community... learning about other people, places and things (culture!).

Record what you do in a diary such as my Natural Learning Diary, which includes play and hobby activities as well as structured learning. Just write down what the children do in the boxes, or create your own diary, and then underline or highlight the activities/learning in the different 'subject' areas - maths, science, health, language, etc.

To write a learning plan, simply rewrite what you did under the subject headings... Louise Wilton's two homeschooling planning and recording booklets (available from www.alwayslearningbooks for $4) set this out beautifully as an example of the type of homeschooling learning program that mostly just happens, without a huge amount of worry or planning.

If you do this before your child turns six you will already have a 'report' or 'review' to show the education department officer who comes to interview you during the application process. All you need to do then is to project what you'd like your child to learn or cover in the next 6-12 months. You will have specific goals - eg: learn to write simple sentences, count to 100, build a frog pond (with help), answer the phone appropriately, etc, which may or may not eventuate, but seem sensible and suitable goals for your child over the year ahead. Write these down under the subject headings, if you wish, or just write a long list! This is your learning plan... and most of us find it grows naturally from our diaries and different methods of recording.

I used the curriculum subjects (and their subcategories, eg history, biology, weather, conservation, etc) as very useful in helping me think of goals for each of my children. Then I would add events and activities I knew would happen - eg holiday at Sovereign Hill and the historic goldmining area of Victory (history, geology, occupations); New Year's Eve Pageant participation (The Arts - choreography, costumes, performance); Model Solar Car Challenge (Technology, Science, Health (social skills)). April's first year of homeschooling was the year Thomas was born, so that covered a lot of learning in Health!! As did keeping and breeding guinea pigs a couple of years later...

You can write a page or two for your forward plan, or you can write a dozen. I found that the more I put down on paper about what we were actually doing, based on haphazard but detailed recording, the more confident I felt and the quicker I could relax about the whole planning and recording process.

Recording helped me feel that I was actually teaching my children. It also gave my children confidence, from time to time, that they were actually being educated. This helped them from feeling too different from other children. They weren't just playing at home and doing 'stuff' with mum - it was a 'proper' education. We even did report cards every other year or so!

Recording need only take a few minutes each day. It can be as simple as a checklist (using the lists in the back of my book Getting Started with Homeschooling) or as detailed as an anecdotal record of what each did and said and how they are learning each day. It's up to you. The education department doesn't enforce any particular style of recording and they are more interested in how you know your child is progressing - showing that through conversation at the interview is more powerful than what you've written down, though your records and your learning plan will jog your memory and help you feel more confident at the time.

A learning plan is simply that - a plan. It's not set in concrete and it doesn't matter if you do something entirely different. As you probably will :-)

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
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Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Balancing Attention with Different Aged Learners

I was asked for tips on how to balance sitting down with an older child while toddlers and younger children yell "What do we do now mummmy?", especially when the younger children want to do 'book learning' too.

First of all you need to make sure you're doing something to balance *your* day. I say all this knowing that I didn't do this and paid the price. Ultimately my depression gave me time - robbed it from me and my children, but the lesson was that if you don't balance *your* day/life you will become unwell.

Do you practice meditation? Have a Daily Devotional time that is for you alone? Do you do yoga or tai chi, or work out doing an exercise routine that gets you huffing and puffing? Do you go for a walk or run each day? You can do this with the kids, but if you can manage it, getting up early for a brisk fifteen minute jog or walk by yourself will help to balance that scattered feeling.

I began homeschooling when my eldest had just turned six and my youngest five weeks old! I wrote up 'lessons' in April's workbook the night before and sat at our big table with Roger, then four years old, beside me with a workbook of his own, and the baby on my lap, often suckling. I always had a variety of baby toys within reach, plus something for me to do if April and Roger didn't need my attention. I get bored quickly and am always looking for something to read and write. April would sit opposite me and I would read her lessons (upside down - a skill she also had I quickly realised) and explain them and she'd be happy to work through them without much attention. Roger was different. He couldn't read (it took another four years before he was an independent reader) and I not only had to read by often scribe. Our table lessons would only last an hour at the most and then we'd be doing a project or simply playing.

I spent a LOT of time playing with the children. This seemed to satisfy their need for time with me, and left me huge blocks of time where I could do what I needed or wanted within sight and hearing of them, without being involved in their activity. I developed a habit of instantly interrupting what I was doing to attend to requests and found that over time they became less demanding and more independent. Often people will tell you that doing this will 'spoil' the child, but I found the opposite actually happens. Plus, taking care of their needs immediately took less time and got them out of my hair quicker!

Something I've discovered as I've got older is how frustrating it is to have a conversation with such an involved, hands-on parent! While I automatically break in my conversation to let the mother or father attend to the child's needs, or answer and help the child myself, it's dreadfully disrupting to a good conversation! I won't always do what the child wants - that's another issue. Listening to them, in the moment, and negotiating satisfactory solutions with them is important. Over time it builds respectful relationships and that's what we all want with, and for, our children.

The other solution coping with demanding toddlers while you are busy helping an older child is to have plenty of activities and distractions prepared in advance. For me, this was more about establishing a vibrant and encouraging learning environment. I modelled our home on the local kindergarten (preschool) which April and Roger had attended from birth, first through playgroup and then kindy. We had open shelves with a few selected items on each and boxes of toys and dress ups. Cluttered environments discourage learning, so keep it tidy and simple and rotate the toys and puzzles, in the same way kindy teachers do, to keep that novelty aspect. I'd hunt down interesting dress-ups in op-shops and add fresh items and remove and store others. You don't need to pay a fortune for play props. The junk box, and a well stocked craft table with lots of sticky tape, masking tape and glue, are essential.

Such a well-stocked, inviting and encouraging learning environment is useless if the children can access the items and activities within it without your help. The shelves need to be low. Materials need to be child-friendly and safe. The children need spaces to make mess, lay out a train track, or a soft corner to curl up comfortably with a book or favourite toy. You need to be comfortable within this space too.

Anticipating your toddlers’ needs is the key to solving this issue - keeping one step ahead of them. You may need to be firm though - it doesn't hurt to gently let them know that you are busy right now and that you will help them when you are finished your task. Direct them to help themselves until then. Juggling the attention you give to each child is difficult. Consistently making the toddlers wait sometimes and making the older child wait sometimes, will help them learn patience, with the reassurance that you care for them all. It doesn't hurt to point this out either, sometimes: "This is ...'s time now, I will help you/play with you when we are finished."

It's not easy, but if you can do take care of yourself and build a calm time that nurtures your soul each day, you should feel less stressed by this difficult aspect of parenting.

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
Have a homeschooling question? Become a member of the friendly Homeschool Australia Frequently Asked Questions email group. Visit Homeschool Australia for more original content. No time to visit the site? Subscribe to the FREE bi-monthly Homeschooling Australia Newsletter, or sign up for Daily Homeschooling Tips
Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

"Why should I continue homeschooling next year when I feel like this year has been such a disaster?"

Homeschooling always feels like a disaster. Well, not always. Some days shine, but in my experience there aren't that many of these. I found that my perception, usually led by my mood, and I'm naturally depressive, coloured my experience of homeschooling. What was actually happening was a lot better than I thought it looked. The only way I know this is that I recorded, off and on, in a fairly meticulously way for about a decade (most of my books and writing are based on these records). What I wrote in Learning in the Absense of Education and Learning Without School was what happened. Reading it always gives me a buzz.

Accept that homeschooling isn't idyllic. It's not the answer to everything in education or parenting. It's hard. Really hard. And the bit that sucks the most (for me anyway) is the way it isolates us as parents. I found the fact that society doesn't reward or recognise parenting (having a 'nice' house gets more attention than having 'nice' kids) really depressing. I was doing such a good job with teaching and parenting my kids but no one cared. They'd like and love me more if I were working and my kids were in child-care. I always felt the pressure to 'be' someone other than a mum.

We're pioneers and that means that what we're doing is hard work. We're forging a way through wilderness - few parents actually want to spend time with their children and we're made to feel weird, or worse, abusive to our kids. Sure, we have bad days, weeks and months. It can be hard to continually bolster one's faith in what one is doing when everyone else is doing something different! I liken my journey to that of a pioneer settler. Twenty years of hard work with little to show for it, apart from the odd jar of prize jam at the show, the sudden downpour after a long drought, while it happens, but now I sit back on my well built productive and pleasing farm and know that I'm going to reap the benefits until the day I die. (Life isn't that predictable, but by now -thanks to the hard work of pioneering - I am totally accepting of that).

Social children - especially extroverts who are stage managers and directors - do need time to play with other children, preferably children of all ages. This can be difficult to organise and it means you will have to dedicate a fair bit of time to organising it. No more than a mum with a virtuoso violin player or a dirt bike genius would have to do to arrange opportunities for their child to develop the skills they want and need to... The easiest way to find friends for your child is to organise learning clubs or homeschooling playgroups. Start them or join them. Get out as much as you can. You'll burn out and hopefully your enthusiastic youngster will start begging for some quiet time at home (usually displayed as irritability, crankiness, non-cooperative behaviour at home, crabby with his siblings, ill-health, hyperactivity, inabilty to go to sleep/bed at a reasonable hour at night, teary, etc - sometimes though, he may ask to stay home instead of going out).

We also need to play with our children. Alfie Kohn, in his book Unconditional Parenting, and Lawrence Cohen in his book Playful Parenting (both in my Always Learning Books catalogue now) stress the importance of being play partners for our children. I believe that our success as homeschooling parents was because we took time most days to actually play with the children. When my children played dolls or cars or LEGO I played with them. It was hard, very hard, and most of the time I simply constructed props or sorted the bricks, but every few minutes I was able to get involved in the 'drama' and play. Parents who can do this are instant hits with children of all ages.

We began homeschooling with a list of goals - long term and short term. I would have been lost without a learning program, even as a natural learning or unschooling family. My learning programs and record keeping - described in detail in my book Getting Started with Homeschooling Practical Considerations - were the backbone of our homeschooling experience. They were my main support structures at a time when few people homeschooled and all my regular friends felt threatened by our educational and parenting choice... Writing things down makes them concrete, easy to keep in mind and aim for. It's not a forever task, and it isn't to please someone else or to get approval to homeschool from the authorities. I found it an essential element of teaching my children at home. Louise Wilton's naturally learning learning program and review - available in booklet form from $4 from Always Learning Books - demonstrate the power of recording to instil confidence, not only as you go, but when looking back on the last year.

I'm an overachiever and do everything to the nth degree - usually go overboard, and it wasn't long that I found myself overwhelmed and exhausted. Being chronically and constantly unwell with allergies and depression didn't help. After twenty years I still haven't learned to slow down and keep life in balance. I'm enthusiastic, like a puppy - there's no stopping me. Until I 'crash' and then I don't do anything for days... I think my children were grateful for those quiet times, even though dealing and coping with a depressed mum wasn't a lot fun. All this lead me to thinking about and researching strategies for relieving stress and I wrote these down too. I began to understand the importance of not over-socialising, of getting to bed at a reasonable hour, of eating well, especially fresh and raw food, of getting adequate exercise and resting each day (not the same as sleep). I discovered the importance of having an existence separate from being a mum - having a hobby that satisfies some deep need to be creative within me. And honouring that need. I discovered that my husband is my best friend, not my kids and that I need to play with him just as often I do the kids. And that it's essential to have at least two or three good friend I can confide in, and to share stories with, whenever I needed. It took energy to set life up in such a way that my needs would be met, most of the time. I'm a learner - these lessons will take me a lifetime to perfect!

Talking to sympathetic and understanding friends, reading books by sympathetic and understanding authors, and writing in my journal were the tactics I used to uplift my spirits and rebuilt my enthusiasm when I felt negative. Homeschooling newsletters were my life line way back then, which is one of the reasons I'm such an active homeschooling author, writing and producing the Homeschool Australia website, newsletter and yahoo groups (see below). I know how essential it was for me to receive information from more experienced homeschoolers on those days when everything was going wrong... The best books and articles didn't preach at me, they shared their stories - their ups and downs, the things that worked and the things that didn't. And I learned that there are no right or wrong ways to homeschool, and that eventually everything seems to work, in it's own way. It's all a learing journey and mistakes are just opportunities to learn from.

I found that by giving up unrealistic goals of myself and my children, and spending the time I would have 'educating' them, playing with them, solved most of my problems with coping with a baby and a busy four year old while trying to teach my six year old. That's all our children want - is for us to be involved in their lives and to let them take an active role in ours. We played and did chores together. It took longer to get things done, that's for sure, and I learned that having a 'House and Garden' home wasn't what I really wanted. I'm not a lover of housework so it was easy to cover the basics and feel okay. Windows were washed twice a year, and became family fun, though it's still a chore. I just had to pick a day the children were more willing to sacrifice a couple of hours...

We've always lived in small country towns and we've always found this challenging. At first we didn't want to be social in the ways folk in the town were social - playing sport on the weekend, going to the pub on Friday and Saturday night, and Church on Sunday. We got involved with community service groups but as owner builders didn't have a lot of time and didn't persist. Our eldest, April, now a young adult, once wrote that it's essential to get involved in country town life as a homeschooling family. Don't wait for homeschooling community to grow around your family - get out and become involved in the community you live in. This is true socialisation. Not school. Not homeschool. But becoming an active part of a vibrant community. Sure, it takes time and we need to compromise and be less judgemental, but it's worth it. We didn't do this and it made homeschooling much harder. I know families that did and homeschooling was a lot more fun and easier and the parents had less insecurities. An added bonus is that the community gets to see that homeschooling is a viable and successful alternative to school. And your kids are more likely to find part time jobs and work experience in their teen years.

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
Have a homeschooling question? Become a member of the friendly Homeschool Australia Frequently Asked Questions email group. Visit Homeschool Australia for more original content. No time to visit the site? Subscribe to the FREE bi-monthly Homeschooling Australia Newsletter, or sign up for Daily Homeschooling Tips
Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Teaching Beyond Our Skill Level

Someone asked: "What you do when your child exceeds your capabilities in a subject?
This was particularly about maths - what if your maths skills are poor, how do you teach a mathematically bright child?"

I'm not very knowledgeable in many areas and my knowledge of the areas I'm passionate about is fairly average. I tackle most things with enthusiasm though, making sure I assemble the resources I need to find out or learn to do something new. That's one of the reasons I buy books, because they are full of information and instructions. There are books, written in plain language and with great diagrams, to tackle just about anything now. And there's always the internet, though I still prefer books. As an unschooler and natural learner I know that books are fantastic guides to just about everything - even text books for school or university. I know I can get to any level of expertise using books as the basis for my learning. At some stage though I may need to call on someone who is more knowledgeable or skilful and that's when I look for a tutor.

There is nothing in homeschooling land that says that mum or dad should be the only tutors! Look around in your family, group of friends, neighbourhood, and community for people who can tutor. My friend, a single mum, found a local dad who loved fixing up old cars. Her son was keen on learning to drive and wanted to be able to repair whatever car he bought himself. Sue knew nothing about car maintenance. She talked to the guy down the road who was only too happy to get to know her son and have him hang around on the weekend and learn about mechanics. Another friend realised that not only did she have no clue about maths beyond what she needed in her daily life, she didn't want to learn either, so from early in their homeschooling life she used a maths tutor, in much the same way as a music tutor, for her children. The woman showed her daughter how to the maths and set 'homework' assignments.

The other way that homeschooling parents tackle this issue is to start learning clubs. Ann Lahrson Fisher writes about this in her excellent book Fundamentals of Homeschooling, available from my Always Learning Books website. We've been involved in group learning for circus skills, art, science, and craft. We've also accessed art and music tutors.

Our experiment with school was based on my fear that my lack of skills and knowledge meant my children were missing out, but as I discovered, schools don't always cover those areas, especially to the depth that our children might want and need. We tried school as I wanted my children to have access to physical education, movement, drama, dance, art and craft, and music. The first year at school there were teachers who specialised in these areas. For the next five years the school community emphasised technological (read computers!) skills and suddenly the school had little focus and few resources for the Arts. In a neighbouring primary school they had an award winning marine biology focus because it was a hobby and passion of one of the teachers: when he was transferred all that excellence went with him. It's easier to find and access these kinds of people in the community outside of school, than to hope and rely on something happening in the school environment.

© Beverley Paine

You may reprint the above article provided you include this information:
Have a homeschooling question? Become a member of the friendly Homeschool Australia Frequently Asked Questions email group. Visit Homeschool Australia for more original content. No time to visit the site? Subscribe to the FREE bi-monthly Homeschooling Australia Newsletter, or sign up for Daily Homeschooling Tips
Visit www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au for a great range of homeschooling, unschooling and books on natural learning!

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