To say or not to say... "Drive Carefully"

I always say 'drive carefully' or 'be safe' as my now young adult children drive off, and then one day it occured to me that I was kind of making a statement by my consistent insistent behaviour (exhorting my young people to 'do' something I felt to be valuable) that they weren't naturally capable of doing this without a reminder from me! I looked into my need to say these words and realised that I believed that I was warding off potential disaster - indulging in a bit of superstition. I had to smile. I still smile. And I still say 'drive carefully' or 'be safe'.

I personally like the 'be safe' statement better. My children react better to that one. I've also talked to them about why I say it - talked about my fears, my insecurities, the superstition (touch wood) aspect of saying it aloud. They didn't like the thought that I wasn't 100% confident in their driving ability, and I hedged by saying that most accidents are caused by the 'other' guy on the road. The more experienced they get with driving the more they understand that most accidents are really caused by inattentiveness and overconfidence (in ones's driving ability and in the car's ability to perform perfectly in all situations, or to simply hang together).

Whenever I remember I let my kids now why I say or do the things I do. Most of the time most of us simply assume that we know why our family members or friends say and do things, and sometimes this is accurate but sometimes it's not. I find that being clear about motive diffuses a lot of relationship issues based on miscommunication.

© Beverley Paine

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Answering "Why aren't you at school?"

What do you reply when you or your child(ren) are asked:
"Why aren't you at school?" or "You're not in school today?" or "Which school do you go to?"

We live in the outskirts of a small country town on the Atherton Tablelands, Qld, where everyone knows everyone (or so it would seem). We have always been a homeschooling family. Our children are aged 16, 13 and 11 years old. When we first started, we were the only homeschooling family in the area. Nowadays there are dozens of families homeschooling in this area.

When the children were little and people asked why they weren't at school, the children used to shyly answer that they were homeschoolers and then pass over to me to say anything more. Right from the start, I was keen to
tell people that we were homeschoolers and the responses we received were always very positive. There were many different responses: "You're so brave. I couldn't do that!" "Can you do that?" "How can you do that?" "Why would you want to do that?" "What will you do if they want to go to university?" "How will they get a job?" "Of course you can do that, you are a teacher." etc.

I answered questions easily and used my feelings about the questions and answers as a barometer, to show me where I felt insecure or confident.

A couple of days ago the 16 year old was asked the question and I was tickled pink to hear her reply with confidence that she is and always has been a homeschooler. She was able to answer the questions herself, happily, with confidence and with experience. It feels good to be at the other end of the 'tunnel' and to see that what I dreamed to be possible for our family, really has come true.

Kindly,
Grace Chapman.

Editor: TEENS & BEYOND HOMESCHOOLING
http://www.educationchoices.com.au

Encouraging our children to be story-tellers and writers

I was asked recently how can can make our children story tellers, or encourage them to write stories, especially when they aren't interesting in writing much at all?

Recognise where you children already tell stories. April scripted all of the play in her early years with her brothers. She'd say exactly what was going to happen in the game, including dialogue. She was the author and director of play! Her brothers went along with it for years. I would listen to Roger telling himself a story as he drew a picture. Or if he was drawing I'd ask what was happening in the picture. I think how we word our questions is crucial to encouraging children to tell their stories and to build their vocabulary. Some children tell stories as they go for walks. Others will talk about factual information only. To them the world is an exciting wonderful place and they don't need fiction to inspire them. For these children we need only talk to them and listen and feed them interesting facts and information, always widening their world. We can also lead them into imagination by asking 'what if' type questions - 'what if the space shuttle couldn't land in the USA and had to land near Adelaide (or wherever you live)? What would it be like to Andy Thomas? What do you reckon you'd do when you got home from a space trip?'

Often I found it much easier, and had a better response, if I didn't ask the child, but began musing aloud: "If I was Andy, up there in the space shuttle, I'd ask them to land the shuttle in Adelaide - at Edinburgh airforce base. Then I could visit my family and let my friends look around the shuttle. That'd be cool.' Naturally, whatever I talked about would have to be topical and of interest to the child. Even now I imagine myself in rally cars, or designing computer games, whatever. The ability to imagine being somewhere else, or someone different, helps to build empathy and understanding.

Anything can turn into an imaginative exploration. See a cockroach scuttling under the cupboard. I immediately recall a great movie about a guy called Joe who moved into an apartment full of talking, singing cockroaches. They help him defeat the developers and win over a girl. The cockroach is now a character in my mind - what story can I tell about him? What story can we weave about him? Did you know that a cockroach can lay millions of eggs? Imagine having that many children? How to feed them all! Maybe we're not telling *stories*, but we're talking, and it's full of the structures you'll find in any work of fiction.

Then there are the 'what if you found a million dollars' story starters, when you're sitting on the swing in the park (I always sat on the swing and took a turn too - so long as there wasn't a sign that said older people were prohibited). Or 'what if leprechauns existed, what if they were really martians?' Often that would be enough to get the kids rambling for hours.

Some children are listeners though. They won't add much to the conversation even when you coax a few words from them. Perhaps they don't think in words, but in pictures. Then I'd settle for their drawings and make sure they always had materials at hand to express their creativity and imagination through art or sculpture, or making, tinkering, modifying or inventing things. We need to quiet achievers. What I would do then is read to them every day. Teach them how to write the necessary things that we all need to do - how to write a resume, different purpose letters, lists, fill out forms, etc. Expose them to reports and charts, articles, essays, and as many forms of writing for different purposes and audiences as you can. When they finally have to write something - say an article - in their teens years, teach them then - using whatever resources you can find (I like university guides to how to write essays, reports, etc). I've found that non-writers (as in people who won't pursue writing in some form as a career) pick up skills easily and quickly when they have a real reason to do so in their adolescence.

The other approach - and one I haven't tried personally - is the Charlotte Mason method of narration. Although more structured than what I did with my children it's similar in that it doesn't push children into writing for the sake of writing for long periods each day. Narration starts gently with only a few minutes each day of retelling (and who doesn't retell the stories in the movies or favourite tv dramas?), and gradually builds up to a complete list of writing and reading skills by the end of schooling. Try a websearch for Charlotte Mason and Narration and you'll turn up a lot of inspiring and encouraging information. We'll be incorporating a lot of the ideas and methods into our natural learning curriculum.

In the meantime, you'll find lots of ideas in my Practical Homeschooling Booklet Series on reading and writing.

© Beverley Paine

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Should We Believe Everything We Read?

It was pointed out to me today that a problem with promoting something like homsechooling is that it is then open to inaccurate promotion. Some people, burned by experiences of 'untrue' homeschoolng stories, where the writer, safe "behind the comfort of the computer screen with no one to see how their life really happens, can write whatever they like, including things that are not true or accurate representations of their homeschooling life. The adage that we need to take what we read or view with "a large helping of salt" is always wise advice, and it's true that"pretty and perfect pictures of home ed" portrayed in homeschooling magazines and newsletters may lead "an inexperienced person to believe something that may well not be true, and that they therefore cannot live up to".

I began writing to share my homeschooling experiences with other like-minded parents in 1989. It's never been my intention to misrepresent the joys, successes, trials and tribulations of homeschooling. I often felt the victim of bright and glossy stories of child progidies and wonderfully warm and fuzzy tales of homeschooling family life... One day it occured to me that in sharing my joy at my children's learning experiences I was doing exactly what those authors of articles I read in Growing Without Schooling had done. My joyful tales no doubt undermined others' confidence, but I know they also inspired, because of the feedback I received. Encouraged, I continued to write for a homeschooling audience.

Writing is an inaccurate art form. In that it is no different from any other art form. The adult viewer or reader should be aware that what they are seeing or reading is a representation of life - nothing retold can be an accurate portrayal. Once written or captured on film what is read or viewed is simply an interpretation.

I am pleased that the publications that I have written for - including those I mentioned in my post yesterday - also include portrayals that demonstrate the not-so-rosy side of homeschooling life. Topics I've written on, and read articles and letters by others, include how to cope with "burn out", homeschooling and depression, worrying about unmotivated learners, coping with educating children at home with support, coping with prejudice and discrimination, making ends meet when money or illness becomes a problem. I may be naive and I have a tendency to trust, but I've been impressed by the honesty and desire to share personal experiences. Writing isn't something that anyone feels comfortable doing and not everyone feels okay about revealing their personal lives to total strangers, words that can now travel around the world and turn up anywhere. It takes guts to send those words out to that unknown audience. One only has to look at the membership of lists like this to see that the bulk of members are readers, not writers...

Twenty years ago few people felt comfortable writing on the disadvantages of homeschooling, except in guarded terms and then we stuck to the issues like the effects on home life caused by the lack of that second income. A decade ago I noticed a trend to begin to write about our fears more, and how we were managing and coping. I find that when I talk about my 'mistakes' at seminars people come up to me afterwards and share their relief at finding that they're normal and that mucking up and not getting it right or perfect is part of the learning process and that its okay.

I don't feel the need to promote the happy rosy picture of homeschooling life and never have. I began my 'crusade' to find like-minded people I can share the good and the bad times of homeschooling with, so that I may be reassured I'm not a freak and that I'm not damaging my children by being different from my school-going neighbours. I know and have met and count among my friends many, many homeschooling writers who are completely genuine and give their time, often during the small hours of the morning or when the children are tucked in bed at night, to share their experiences so that we may all feel part of a community, supporting each other.

I write guidebooks for homeschoolers - not for money because writing simply doesn't pay for 95% of writers - because it's less time consuming that spending the hours on the phone that I used to... I became tired of sore throats and my children resented the time the phone took away from being with them. I wrote Getting Started with Homeschooling because telling people how we got exemption several times a week - information that was directly asked for - became tedious and disrupting. It's not the definitive guide to homeschooling but I'm proud of it. It tells it exactly as it was - sums up ten years of my homeschooling life, together with Learning in the Absence of Education. The responses I have had to both books convinces me that us homeschooling writers have an audience that appreciates our efforts - an audience that realises that homeschooling isn't the answer to all their parenting and educating problems, and that life is, foremost, a personal learning journey.

We're all trying to do the best we can for our children. I find that homeschooling authors are motivated to share - share what works and doesn't work for them. If we're imperfect in our craft, then that's because we're human. If we err occasionally, then that's because we're human. It's a learning journey.

It is true there are writers who deliberately set out to 'sell' to their audience, be it an idea or lifestyle or product. Remember, it's not a captive audience - the reader or viewer can always stop reading or watching. I've heard stories about homeschooling writers who don't live what they write. But in getting hung up on the honesty of the content and questioning the integrity of the writer might I be missing the essential message? Were all the parables and stories told by Jesus, or the myths, legends and fables told by people throughout history to their children 'true' accounts of real happenings? Did they need to be? I don't believe so. All stories are told from a point of view and that view is always subjective. Truth is something we experience for ourselves. We can pick the truth we need from what we read and view. That approach has always led to learning experiences for me.

© Beverley Paine

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Promoting Home Education

I like to think that we are all promoting home education as a viable alternative to school-based education by simply DOING it with our children. A friend of mine once said that it is our children, now and when they are grown, that convince others of the effectiveness of home education, and he's right. Our enthusiasm to learn and adapt to our children's changing educational needs, our willingness to research alternative methods, and find different resources that may suit our children better - these are the hallmarks of professional educators. We're doing a great job, albeit quietly and without much fuss or comment.

Some of us find the time, usually prompted by immediate need, to go beyond simply homeschooling our children, and advertise what we're doing to others in the community. I did this because I needed to find other homeschoolers so we didn't feel so lonely: we wanted to belong to a group of like-minded people who could offer support and reassurance. An ad in the paper, a newsletter, a website... picnics, activities, workshops, seminars, camps... Along the way, as I strove to meet the immediate homeschooling needs of our family we publicised homeschooling quite a bit. But it wasn't my main aim.

I reckon we're all doing a fabulous job of promoting homeschooling. We can always do better, or more, that's for sure, but when I look back on twenty years of involvement in home education and see how far we've come - homeschooling is now an accepted - if not yet embraced - idea in society. That's cool. That's something to celebrate.

The Prime Minister, John Howard, on the radio this morning (AM 891), was pushing the opinion that extreme viewpoints should not be allowed to exist in this country, and that such radical minorities need to be assimilated into the majority viewpoint. His views are echoed across the country - I hear them everyday when I turn on the radio, or the tv, or go to the local pub or supermarket. As homeschoolers we, too, represent a radical, what could be seen as extremist point of view. We are a minority that disagrees with the majority... Our views on education undermine the state-sanctioned method of education for children. We could easily be targetted in a vicious, no-holds barred campaign to muddy the waters in favour of school-based education.

Some fear that a concerted and enthusiastic campaign to draw attention to the wonderful - and successful - world of home education could draw undesirable attention and result in increased and quite possibly draconian regulation. It's my experience that the 'majority' fear first and think second. I've watched and learned how effective a slow, grass roots movement can change the opinions and actions of the majority. Our individual successes - our homeschooled graduates - mount an incredibly effective and persuasive case for home education. They wipe out the fear factor, because they aren't weirdos or no-hopers - they're more often than not ordinary, well-educated, articulate young men and women. And they are increasing in number rapidly!

If people feel really strongly about publicising home education than I reckon the best approach is to start a local homeschooling support group or activity group and publicise that. Have regular meetings in community spaces - a book club that meets at the community library, sports days at the local park, host art classes for everyone during the school holidays...

To promote home education through the media - via advertising - takes a bucket load of money. If the HEA, for example, had that kind of cash and embarked on a campaign then they'd be shut down fast - by the government, by outraged parents and friends societies (who'd feel really threatened), by schools who fear a mass exodus, by teachers unions and by teachers. The individuals who work on a voluntary basis in the HEA would be torn apart in the media frenzy that would result. Their lives would be examined - and paraded in full public view. You'd need to be a saint to survive a prolonged - and hostile - expose on Today Tonight. I've seen tv interviews where the interviewer seeks to destroy the character of the parents because they dared to use a learning program not accepted by mainstream education. Home ed, as a movement, is not ready for that kind of promotion.

Education Choices is our first national commercial attempt at getting a regular magazine into newsagents across Australia. Otherways and Learning Matters are two quality magazines produced by homeschooling organisations. These magazines need support and encouragement and the only way to do that is to subscribe - to all three if you can. Then lend your magazines or give them away. Or donate a subscription to your local library. Leave them in laundromats and bus shelters. Whatever. Ask for HEA to send you some leaflets. Photocopy them and leave them in appropriate places. There is a great deal that can be done to promote homeschooling without needing to spend a lot of money.

Be interviewed by a local newspaper. Papers in the Adelaide metro area runs at least one homeschooling story each year. A mother contacted me 12 months after she had read an article about our homeschooling adventures... This kind of low key promotion really does work, and what's better, it saves kids who are having a rough time at school.

© Beverley Paine

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Role Reversal!

This is an article I found lurking in my computer hard-drive, written some time ago...

I am learning to play one of the children's favourite role playing computer games.

Computer games worry me - not that I dislike my children playing them, especially as they have a restricted time limit they happily work to, but because I am frightened of looking like a fool, or 'messing up', of accidentally 'killing' my character. I have seen the children emerge from such games flushed with an adrenalin rush... could I, an old timer, cope?

I have also seen adults become addicted to computer games, even mundane ones like Solitaire.... this I want to avoid!

Well, last week I took the plunge and some interesting things developed.

Roger and Thomas are keen to help me develop my character's attributes, but they chastise me for silly mistakes, like walking into walls (unfamiliar with the mouse controls). Because I am twenty plus years older than them I tolerate their frustrated cries and critical comments, but find the comments still sting, especially when the game hots up and action is needed rapidly and help would be more useful than criticism!

I have found the boys have little tolerance for my learning process. Comments such as:

"How come you don't learn the first time?"
"I've shown you how to do that LOTS of times!"
"You just don't learn!"
"How come you never remember?"

My responses vary from groans, sighs, and frustrated cries of "I give up!"

Thomas refuses to watch me play now. He's frustrated that he can't take over the controls, desperate to demonstrate how the game should be played, rather than put up with my clumsy and repetitive mistakes... I'm not allowed to fumble through, make my own mistakes as I discover the nuances of game play. He knows the easy way and wants me to listen to his tips and
hints and learn all the short cuts. But I'm not so sure it's the best way to learn...

Something about all this sounds dreadfully familiar. And I can't help smiling: Once again my children have taught me a few things about the nature of teaching and the nature of learning.

I've found I like to learn by myself, in my own time, when I'm ready, feel motivated and confident. I want to call the shots. And I want some help available, but only when I call for it. I want someone to keep an eye on me, to wisely share some helpful tips, but without giving me the solutions.

I like to be gently led... I don't want to be rushed. I don't want to be continually reminded just how much of a novice I am. I want my helper to be endlessly patient. I want recognition of when I do well: I want them to be excited about my learning success, just as I am, but not to take the credit for it.

As to teaching, well, I am totally surprised to find this huge innate drive in Thomas to teach.... and to teach in the time honoured way that I have come to hate - the way teachers teach in school... I had to ask myself: Did I teach my children like this; did I railroad their learning sensibilities in this way despite their continual and much maligned resistance. Learning a skill they have already mastered has given me a taste of my own medicine!

My foray into learning how to play a popular computer game taught me that the combination of child as teacher and Beverley as learner is just as frustrating as the combination of child as learner and Beverley as teacher!

We need to move beyond this uncomfortable method of instruction and find solutions that satisfy the both our needs. I'm sure it can be done; just wish I'd worked this out sooner!

Had someone told me I would learn so much about the nature of learning and teaching from playing a computer game I wouldn't have believed them. Once again one of my interests has turned into an exploration about the nature of learning, and a topic for homeschooling discussion!

© Beverley Paine

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Reflections on My Arrogance

Personal arrogance is a stumbling block I face in my daily relationships with others, and my attitude to my work. I still catch myself thinking that I am at the centre of the universe and that it revolves around me and my ideas, projects, etc. In this I am much like a child. It's knowing which aspects of my inner child to 'grow up' and which to retain that is often for me.

My curiousity and imagination, and ability to empath, I never want to lose. I can imagine myself a child and feel like a child, albeit with an onlooking and experience-mitigating adult consciousness. This aspect of my inner child teaches me a great deal. On other hand my child-like egocentric nature isn't at all good for relating to and with others. I'm demanding, selfish, bossy, dominating - and big enough to get my own way by any means. Being the middle child, with a tantrum-throwing older sister, I chose quiet manipulation as the most effective way to be 'heard' in my family, and made a study of human behaviour. Knowing the 'right' time to approach someone, or 'right' tone to use, to get my own way became quite an art form. It is also serves my humility in much the same way. I learned from an age to manipulate my environment to achieve my goals.

Learning to let others finish speaking before I press my own views took quite a few years to learn. I'm not that accomplished at it now. Too much of a hurry most of the time... Learning to listen, well, that's a skill I'm still working on. I try to approach conversations with a blank mind. If I want something, however, I'm using all the tools in my persuasion toolbox. Trouble is I'm not the all-wise, all-knowing, clever person I sometimes think I am and then I do and say things that make my life very complicated! :-) My task, in this fifth decade of life, is to take four steps backwards and study the wisdom life presents to me, rather than feel in such a rush to *make* things happen the way I think they *should*.

My 'humbleness' and 'acceptance of a imperfect existance' is the tool I use to grow myself up. I am blessed by awareness of self, and of my learning and growing process. It's often a depressing burden, but I wouldn't chose any other way of being.

© Beverley Paine

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Responsibility, Delegation and Accountability of Educating Children

A recent discussion turned to the issue of responsibility, delegation and accountability in the education of children. One speaker felt that not all parents wanted to, could or should, homeschool their children; to which John Angelico replied: "Ducking it by dumping the job onto someone/thing else doesn't actually absolve us of the responsibility - you can delegate a task and the authority to complete it, but you can't delegate a responsibility. You have to hold the other person/thing accountable for the job you delegated to them."

My experience has shown that it's much easier to accept full responsibility and go it alone than to try and persuade school teachers and principals that what they are offering just isn't working with my child (or the other kids in the class). Millions, no billions of dollars (Euros, pounds, whatever) are spent annually on education in school. It doesn't make sense that the school system of education can't achieve quality education for ALL students. No-one - individual or government - has yet been able to hold the public school system accountable.

Most parents of schooled children I talk to are aghast and deny it when I tell them I think that the success or failure of their child's education is their responsibility. If I'm pestered and feeling fiesty, I like to ask them what they are doing to ensure their child receives the quality education the school system promises. How do they know their children are learning everything they need to know? How does the curriculum provide for quality social interaction? How does the curriculum provide for integration with the local and wider community? What programs are in place to facilitate successful tranmission from school to tertiary education or employment? Do you personally know the school pastor, or are aware of the school's pastoral care policy? What would happen if their child breaks a leg at school? It's amazing how many parents just hand over the care and well-being of their children to total strangers and a system of care they know little about...

My conclusion is that most people really don't care and can't wait for their children to grow up. I guess that's why they call it a 'hurried childhood'.

I am also amazed at how many people are willing to face the constant and frustrating challenge of battling entrenched and hostile attitudes from schools, yet are unwilling to take the homeschooling path. Homeschooling for six months is enough to empower parents and students to tackle the educational system assertively, ensuring better outcomes for their children. As an emergency 'bandaid' to difficult problems, homeschooling has much to offer those parents who will ultimately opt for school. The perception that homeschooling is difficult and that we all need to make a lifelong committment to it undermines it's potential to offer a real alternative to all families. And that's exactly how the educational authorities want it to remain!

© Beverley Paine

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Looking for Balance

In almost twenty years of homeschooling I never found a balance between all the things we were busy doing and all the things we wanted to do. New projects robbed us of time enjoying projects and activities we previously enjoyed as we threw ourselves into the new learning. Immersion, it's called, and it doesn't leave much time for doing anything else!

I'm still looking for that balance and believe it's a real trap we can easily fall into - trying to do as much as we can because it's all so enticing and exciting. Believe me, if you fall prey to this way of thinking it's almost impossible to find your way out!

What I used to do is go with the flow. Put the history resources where I could see them and be reminded that it's something we're going to get back too, and then plough headlong into the latest 'must do' project. But I think a more saner approach would be to meter out the activities - an hour or so of gardening, half hour reading from our history project, a couple of hours 'making' or 'free time' for the kids, and then focus on the family chores. That just about takes care of a homeschooling day, doesn't it? Then there's reading and playing games together and bookwork, if that's included.

Most of have regular routines that are embedded into our days, even though some of us fail to recognise them. I believed that I wasn't the kind of person that could work with routines until I had a good look at daily life and recognised that not only do I do the same things in the same way at the same time every day but there were definite patterns throughout the week, and even annually! I like the way our family, because we were home together most of the time, wove our individual routines into a kind of cooperative dance, where we managed to almost magically get the maximum output for what seemed to be minimum input. That's the permaculture way.

Once again, it wasn't until I took the time to observe and reflect upon these patterns of behaviour - routines - that I felt reassured we were actually achieving most of our goals. It also gave me confidence to know that the activities we set aside to pursue our latest passionate interests were nearly always returned to... Sometimes it seemed impossible to add anything else to our busy lives, but we always managed, if we were really interested.

On the other hand, gardening is like food preparation - it's a task that needs daily attention. I like adding in things like pets - which are great for permaculture as they create manure and their bedding makes great compost - but mostly because they need daily attention and that gets us outside. Guinea pigs are great incentives to weed, as is a compost 'tea' barrel in which you plonk the weeds with obnoxious seeds, or kikuyu or couch grass, or rose clippings (hate finding those thorns in the compost!) I mostly grow salad greens and broccoli and silver beet - low maintenance, easy to take care of plants that I need to harvest daily. And flowers. Flowers naturally draw me outside...

What I'm trying to say is that we need to build extra incentives into daily chores, to make them pleasant and enjoyable. I used to listen to classical music (loud!) when vacuuming and almost waltz my way around the house. With no carpets in our house now we don't vacuum... It's not the same with a broom for some reason. And I've been known to clean the shower while showering... I leave the bath until I'm ready for a good long soak - the promise of bath crystals, candles and leisurely soak make the task worth while. And I'm about to instigate a stop at the coffee shop, with my notebook for creative jottings, for shopping trips. I reckon we all need a shopping trip at least once a week or fortnight without the family in tow. Or a fishing trip... whatever!

© Beverley Paine

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Nelson: "Outcomes Based Education System a Form of Cancer"

In the West Australian newspaper today, Brendan Nelson, Federal Minister for Education, is quoted as saying, "Bring back the 3Rs" and that "the controversial outcomes based education system was a "form of cancer" that had taken hold of the education establishment and would take "considerable time" to treat."

Miranda Devine, in the Thursday 11, 2005 edition of the Sydney Morning Herald states that last year's HSC Advanced English exam required just a 63 word answer for one 40 minute exam essay question, in order to obtain a borderline pass. She also went on to complain about the selection of "texts" such as Ginger Meggs and other material which included an Alicia Silverstone movie. She also quotes some of Dr Nelson's recent comments.

I've long felt that public education is a monolith which I fear is doomed to fail. From what I've read there doesn't seem to have been a time in history that the 'outcomes' weren't criticised. The more recent 'dumbing down' of the curriculum that has occured over the last three-four decades relects, I believe, the lack of real opportunities for high school graduates. This is a point someone made this morning on the radio when the discussion turned to the 'drinking binge' of young people sweeping across the UK... once upon a time most young people were in apprenticeships of one kind of another, including motherhood and home duties. Young people were confident that life had a purpose and weren't obsessed with self-gratification - the line that marketeers and profit hungry corporations (busy gobbling up small businesses and the family farm for decades) have relentlessly peddled.

Give young people back their dignity! From an early age reassure them that there is meaningful, community building work at the end of childhood. Instead of eroding the cultural and community value of universities, turning them into vocational training colleges, bring back the emphasis on a liberal education that celebrates culture, history, diversity, tolerance and inquisitiveness. Let those that want and need to specialise do so earlier, in technical colleges and apprenticeships, as they once did. Arrange the economy so that employing young people is not a burden on small business. Give incentives to big business to keep their manufacturing base local, rather than setting up off-shore...

We've dumbed the curriculum down to meet the enforced laziness of our youth. Children don't chose to be selfish and lazy - they are encouraged by the apathetic lifestyle our nation has adopted. When all that matters is the economic bottom line, intelligence is usually sacrificed.

© Beverley Paine

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Deschooling Defined

Deschooling specifically refers to that period of adjustment experienced by children removed from school settings. It also can include the process of deschooling parents; that is, the unlearning of concepts and beliefs about the nature and purpose of education. School based methods of instruction and thinking rarely translate directly into the homeschool, and where they are tried, often parents run into the same kinds of problems faced by teachers in schools! Children and parents need time to adjust to the new arrangement. Often this is best begun with a 'holiday' at home, a time to observe and record what naturally occurs in the child's life, and where additional resources are needed to introduce additional learning activities considered important and essential. It often takes many months, and sometimes even a year, for the process of deschooling to unfold. During this time it is a great idea to seek support from families who display a similar style of homeschooling to yourself.

Other Online Articles About Deschooling
Here are some other articles from around the web that discuss deschooling:

What is Deschooling... by Pam, creator of the Living Joyfully website... "The day "deschooling ends" and "unschooling begins" won't be lit up in bright lights - there's no "magic moment". Life will just continue with the wonderful rhythm you've found, you'll see all the learning that's happening every day, and eventually you'll look back and realize "hey, I think we're unschooling!"

Deschooling For Parents by Sandra Dodd is a humourous and insightful piece about getting rid of our schoolish thoughts. At the bottom there are also more links to deschooling articles.

Deschooling: taking the school out of homeschool by Liza Sabater is a great article in which she looks in detail her family's deschooling process as well as discusses what she discovers along the way.


Disposable Checklists for Unschoolers by Sandra Dodd is a helpful article for those beginning unschoolers who are wondering how they will see progress without schedules to follow and lists to check-off and to whom the advice of "just hang out with your kids" seems far-fetched and somewhat frightening!


Rejecting a Pre-Packaged Life by Sandra Dodd is not about deschooling per se, but is about the paradigm shifts you are likely going through as you choose to start homeschooling. It was one of my first introductions to the idea of "joy" as a meaningful goal - even through our ups and downs the joy is always there and it is so powerful and uplifting - hence the name of my website!


Five Steps to Unschooling by Joyce Fetteroll again is not specifically about deschooling, but is a great article about the transition to unschooling. It details things you can be doing to help you progress through this exciting deschooling phase.

Deschooling by Pattie Donahue-Krueger
Excellent article which originally appeared in F.U.N. News in 1998

Deschooling, by Lee S. King
That leads, also, to a page with lots of Christian unschooling links

Deschooling (author unidentified, but associated with *Kaleidoscapes*)
Emphasis on "giftedness" and has an anti-Nintendo example, but still... if you're going to read lots, throw this one in there too.

Unschooling FAQ, by Amy Bell
"People who have been in a traditional school situation often have to take a different approach to unschooling, especially initially. Traditional schooling can cause the loss of intrinsic motivation and joy of learning. The process of recovering those gifts is usually called "deschooling." It's the process of healing, learning to know oneself, and escaping the expectations and forms of traditional schools..."

© Beverley Paine

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Unschooling and Motivated or Reluctant Learners

This question recently came my way... "Do you think a more structured programme suits reluctant or self motivated learners?"

I think this goes to the heart of the issue concerning unschooling or homeschooling methods - we all need to find resources and approaches that suit our individual learners, regardless of whatever style or approach of teaching/learning suits us as home educating parents.

I'd start by looking at the multiple intelligences and learning style theories. A google search will bring up hours of reading, mostly from the guys that developed these theories in the first place. Pigeon-holing a child into a 'style' or 'intelligence type' will help you understand that child's learning needs right now - I say that because a child grows and develops and if we're addressing the child's immediate needs then the learning style should change and the tendency to lean in one direction will gradually become more balanced.

I believe that all children are initially motivated to learn - it's natural to want to learn. Forcing children to learn things out of context to their lives - when there is no meaning that they can grasp or make for themselves, such as teaching algebra for the sake of it because it's a step on the way to calculus which isn't needed to solve a task now, but may be in five years or ten years time... Much better to introduce algebra as a tool for working out mental arithmetic problems while shopping. That's natural learning, or unschooling. But it requires that the parent learns as much, if not more, or already has the knowledge, to 'lead' the child when such excellent learning opportunities present themselves.

Children who aren't motivated to learn are usually children who aren't capitalising on their learning style - they are using an approach that doesn't gel with them. This may have been happening for so long they appear to be totally turned off from learning. Left alone they will eventually find the confidence to become motivated learners again, but it's frustrating and heartbreaking for us parents to watch our children waffle through endless days of boredom, and for teenagers the risk of depression settling in is very real. We intervene because we lack the confidence or knowledge of the best way to support our youngsters. Working out how they learn best is a constructive step. From there it is simply a matter of presenting information and skill building activities in a way that helps learning occur spontaneously, as it did when they were little.

This never precludes the use of school or text books or curricula written by others - not in a natural learning or unschooling setting or any other. These are valid learning tools. It would be impossible to learn the word of God without reading the Bible, for example. Books, television, film, radio, tapes, mentors, tutors, classes... excellent learning tools. What we need to do, as home educators, is set aside our personal preferences and find the tools that best suit our individual child. If we personally can't work with those particular tools with our child then perhaps we need to find someone that can - the other parent, a relative, close friend, homeschooling tutor, learning club...

I found, especially in the early years when my confidence in my children's ability to learn without intervention was practically non-existent, that working with school books in grammar, spelling and maths suited both me and my children. My youngest struggled the most with this approach and by and large we abandoned books until he had developed the skills to use them through other means. His ability to work with texts was not damaged by his limited experience with them during these formative years: at the age of 14 he worked his way through a maths text book and then began a correspondence course in electronic engineering. I didn't need to remind him to study - he set his own schedule and worked diligently through the texts, often with difficulty as he soon surpassed his father's understanding the subject. The motivation to learn, to keep at it every week, came from within. He's abandoned his course, but not because it was too difficult but because, having tried it, he discovered that isn't a direction he'd like to pursue. His interest in computers led him that far, but, as I already knew, electronics is only a minor interest in his life.

The trust I place in my children to work out, on their own, what they need to learn and which direction to put effort into, is very hard to maintain - my confidence still wavers daily. They are in control of their own learning processes though and they understand a great deal about what motivates them, and when they want something they go after it with passion and enthusiasm and they do a great job and feel satisfied. It's not an easy path - learning is full of conflict and painful moments and my kids experience a lot of stress as they work things out for themselves. I always want to step in and guide them... As I've slowly learned, my way isn't always the best way. And if it's motivation I'm looking for, then that has to come from the child, from his or her love of learning, from his interest, from his need to make meaning and sense from whatever he is doing, right now.

I am not convinced that motivation, or the lack of it, is the result of structure in learning programs. When children's learning needs are matched to the activity motivation is usually high. Reluctance to participate can be caused by many factors - these need to be addressed first. I've included a discussion on these factors in Chapter 4 of my book Getting Started with Homeschooling.

© Beverley Paine

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Fathers and Homeschooling

Philip asked "Any Dads sharing the home schooling here in Oz?"

My husband, Robin, fully shared in our homeschooling experience, plus the parenting in the early years, when I tried a stint at working part time, which fell through due to health problems. We continued active co-parenting, and then embarked on the home education journey together.

I always felt that because of my personality I had the lion's share of the responsibility when it came to organising and planning the educational program of our children, which, even though it was mostly unschooling, still required a great deal of thought and organisation, perhaps more so than simply following a curriculum written by someone else. I slowly came to realise just how important Robin's investment in his children was - and that of other fathers, who although not present during most of their children's awake hours, like Robin was, nonetheless added a great deal to their education.

The educational opportunities our children were exposed to because they had a dad who wanted to be an active part of their life were great. Robin's a handy man - there is little that he won't tackle, from fixing toasters to washing machines, cars to computers. His hobby is alternative energy solutions and he built our power system. He loves building, and since the arrival of our children has built two homes, plus too many sheds, fences, chookhouses, etc! I rely on him for brute strength when it comes to landscaping and gardening, as well as his wisdom. Robin is a walking encyclopaedia, with a fascination for trivia and solving puzzles - two things I hate doing. His ability to remember this kind of detail balances my kind of memory. The differences between us is what led me to discover learning styles, and how important they are in building and maintaining relationships, as well as getting the most from every learning experience.

The children - including April, our eldest - have excellent technical abilities and have all become handypeople themselves. April likes to build things out of wood and doesn't hesitate to tackle repair jobs around her house if she can. Roger and Thomas show great skill at designing and building and work diligently at most tasks. The do-it-yoursef and self-sufficiency skills Robin has fostered in the children are invaluable.

Watching my children, especially Roger and Thomas, as they grew into adolescence and adult life, and the way they respond to toddlers and younger children, is always a joy. They have incredible empathy for children and are exceptionally patient. This, I believe, comes from Robin's example. Although gentleness and a deep respect for children is in Robin's nature, I am positive that his hands-on parenting increased his understanding of how children think and learn, and what they need, and his thoughtful responses set the example for the children to follow.

At one stage I challenged Robin, asking him what he would do if I died - would he feel confident to homeschool them alone. He didn't feel confident at all, and this worried me at the time, and I felt vindicated in my observation that I was doing most of the homeschooling work, but in hindsight, we both underestimated his involvement. It's too easy to discount the everyday stuff dads naturally do with their children, or around the house and home - activities and behaviour that show by example. Emulating admired and trusted others is proably the most efficient learning tool we have in our learning tool boxes - that and conversation and story-telling.

I think that when dads take the time out to be busy and active at home, and to talk to their children and take an intersest in what they are doing and thinking in a supported and interested way, like Robin always did, then they are playing a major role in their children's education. Dads that go that one step further and take on the role of home educator as a stay-at-home dad can only further enrich their children's education. And that rich sense of fulfillment and friendship works both ways!

© Beverley Paine

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Re unschooling and unschooling regrets...

Throughout our journey as home educators I foudn that as unschoolers we learned from books, even text books. Always have done. I also wrote lesson plans and we did structured learning in all subject areas. I believe that we use whatever tools we need to do the job... I tended to look for tools that I know will work for my individual children. Recognising which tools they were took time - in my case several years as I'm a bit of slow learner (my arrogance got in the way - I always figured I knew best before I found out that I, too, am a learner!). At some stage I began to learn about learning styles and that helped quite a bit. Thomas challenged me as he developed his language skills later than his older siblings. What worked with April didn't work with Roger and then Thomas. I was forever learning new tricks!

What sets unschoolers aside from school-at-homers is that we don't rigidly follow a curriculum written and devised by someone outside of our family. We may use a set of text books, or a set of books, or documentaries. These can offer what I called a 'backbone' to our learning in a particular area, which would then branch out in many different directions, with us accessing a huge range of varied resources.

My haphazard recording - conducted throughout our homeschooling adventure - was paramount in building confidence that even when we weren't doing 'bookwork' the children were learning in leaps and bounds.

John Holt advocated learning from books and mentors and tutors - and he apparently coined the term 'unschooler'. What he was against was coercing children to learn from books, or only using books - as they did in schools way back.

I do my level best not to have regrets in any area of my life. If I had my time as a homeschooling mum over again, I'd do things very differently. But I'm happy with the outcome nonetheless. We achieved my goals - the ones I wrote in 1986. I'd give our homeschooling assignment a B+ if I had to grade it. Which is something to be proud of.

If I had known then what I knew now - something none of us can do - I'd probably have given us an A. That's my problem though. :-) We did what we did and how we did it for a reason and life worked out the way it did for a reason and we're all learners with lessons to learn each and every day. The reason is that we learn by trying, by stumbling and by thinking about the problems, coming up with solutions and trying them out, and stumbling again, and trying again, and again and along the way we learn so much about the nature of life, of ourselves, of the natural world, of others, of the materials we use and need, how it all interacts, and why we need to keep learning, and helping each other learn.


© Beverley Paine

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Motivation for Preparing Meals

I am learning, rather belatedly, that the only way for me to remain motivated about cooking (and not feel resentful that in my adult family I am still the one who plans, shops and prepares most of the meals!) is to give myself plenty of time for preparation and cooking of meals. I have always left food preparation to the last minute - it's an area I've slotted into the 'chores' basket, rather than consider it a life-saving and soul nurturing task. As a result I'm grossly overweight and my young adult children don't put in enough time or consideration to this area of their lives.

Food is an essential element of each and every day. The quality of our lives hinge on what we and how we eat. It is very important. Helping our children understand this and giving them the tools to take over the kitchen is, in my opinion, more important than educating our children!

If we made the planning, preparation and cooking of meals, together with cleaning up afterwords, a loving ritual that we shared with our children each day, I think we'd find that motivation. But we won't be able to do this if we are pushed for time, or make meal preparation a low priority on a daily basis. This is what I am finding, and finally correcting, in my life. Healthy eating helps make us happy people. Happy people have voracious learning appetites!

One resource I am finding useful is Mary Ann Kelly's Menu Planner from her website www.thehomeschoolmom.com/kitchen. Mary has a host of free resources, including the e-book Fast and Healthy Meals for Busy Women: Reliable Recipes for Busy Families, for homeschooling families.

If motivating ourselves to enjoy kitchen life is difficult, how can we interest and involve our children in the kitchen? One idea may be to try Laura Bankstown's free Cooking With Kids Homeschool Newsletter. Laura has even written The Homeschool Cooking with Kids System in a Box which comes with five free gifts to further enhance your homeschooling lifestyle.

The important thing to remember is that we're not alone with this issue - many homeschooling parents struggle to balance their daily workload and often it's mealtime planning and food preparation that loses it's sparkle. By networking with other parents we can more easily find solutions that suit our individual families.

© Beverley Paine

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How To Go About Homeschooling...

I've had a few phone calls this week from families interested in homeschooling but not sure exactly what homeschooling is...

How I define homeschooling usually involves talking more about how to go about homeschooling than actually coming up with a description of what it is... Simply because homeschooling looks different in every homeschooling home you visit!

Most families come to the idea of homeschooling with 'school-at-home' firmly in their minds and are surprised to learn that it isn't like the old school-of-the-air or correspondence school, where the child is sent a package of books and assignments to complete and send back. Some families are looking for a curriculum that they can apply, and some ask if I mark work and give grades.

It's not surprising that families begin with these thoughts because this form of education is often all we've experienced. In addition, the educational authorities, who will try to convince us that we must be 'registered' or 'approved', reinforce this image of education.

As home educators the best place to start is not by looking for answers out there - even from forums like this, though I hope that our chit chat will offer much reassurance that you're on the right path. The very best place to start your home educating journey is by asking yourself - and perhaps your child if he or she is old enough - what you think education is... Define 'education'. And then work out what you want education to deliver in terms of goals - goals for this week, this month, this term (if you must use school terminology!), this year as well as the kind of person you want your child to be when he or she turns 18!

This thinking task will keep you busy for at least a week! But it will give you a basis from which to develop YOUR family homeschooling philosophy - a solid place from which to start looking for homeschooling styles, approaches and resources.

© Beverley Paine

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A Current Affair - News... or Roadtesting Products?

I'm not a regular watcher of A Current Affair, put off by the blatant promotion of products and all too often aggressive reporting style. I wasn't surprised to find this little gem at the bottom of TVs A Current Affair website - it confirms that this program is definitely NOT a NEWS program:

"Would you like to appear on ACA? Simply tell us a little bit about yourself and we'll let you know when we're looking for extras or people to roadtest products!"
http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/default.asp

I remember when ACA was a current affairs program, reporting on local news and providing background information to many stories presented more briefly in the News. It like the internet now - hard to tell fact from fiction or opinion. In a study done in Australia about consumer's perception of advertising, advertising is said to be more trustworthy because there is no hidden agenda as there can be with news media and politicians.

A recent survey by the research organisation Ipsos Australia unearthed signs of growing scepticism about matters far more serious than advertising: 63 per cent of survey respondents agreed that "I don't trust news and current affairs programs as much as I once did".
Hugh Mackay, Advertising as the real thing
Fairfax Digital, January 3, 2004

I'm not sure if I fall into to growing group of people falling prey to such scepticism, which paradoxically, contributes to a more sympathetic attitude to advertising, but I know that when I'm interested in a product, I'm put off by the kind of fake 'news' reports paraded by programs like ACA. Give me an honest, well-constructed advertsising campaign any day. But what works best? I suspect that the current affair 'ads' win the ever-increasing competitive battle for our dollars.

As Mackay asserts in his article, advertising is a cleaner industry than it used to be, with regulations providing protection against false, misleading or exaggerated claims. Plus, I belong to the growing crowd of remote control freaks that don't hesitate to hit the "mute" button or change channels when confronted by ads I find offensive or patronising - like Mackay says, I "simply won't give them space in my mind". But I'm much less likely to tune out or away from a personal interest story that's been cleverly designed to hook and hold my interest. We all know that ads are geared to manipulate our emotions and thus sell us whatever they're designed to do, but how many of us know that these so-called "current affairs" programs are covertly doing the same?

Surely programs such as "A Current Affair" would be more suitably named "A Consumer Affair".

© Beverley Paine

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